The Myth of the Magical Negro Chapter 1: Negroidian Principles

"I learned from TV that if you hit a midget in the head, gold coins will drop out."
Patton Oswalt


Contrary to popular opinion, if you stop referring to us in conversation or popular media we don't disappear like apparations or those little trolls in nursery rhymes.

Black people do not refer to themselves as "mulatto" or "octaroon" in either public or private. Those are names that refer to slave trade classifications. My background, while a truly fascinating subject, is not something for you to know or try to know unless I tell you, either orally or through some form of written communications.

You don't know how black people are, shall be, or will be.

Race may mean nothing, but being black will always carry a legacy. If you want to blame someone, there are many white males both alive and dead that are responsible for the massive burden that is race and racism. Feel free to give them a call, chant, present, or explosive device.

Black people exist collectively as a statstical base. Again, not our fault. Consult the above dead white guys.

Ghetto, urban, and/or black don't rhyme and they certainly aren't synonyms.

I am a large black male. Despite your own vision problems, I am not always angry. Then again, if you're stupid enough you might just piss me off all the time... so maybe it's just your fault.

Don't clutch your purse when I enter an elevator. There's nowhere for either us to go... oh, and I'm not a thief.

My baggy pants conceal neither a constant erection nor a shotgun. I wear them because I feel like it.

And my personal favorite:

Dave Chappelle is funny for reasons that you don't even get. And secretly he quit because you, after two seasons of it, still couldn't figure it out.



That is all for now.