We blow the weed smoke, straight out of our lips...

Quebecor World, the corporation that I am currently organizing, is undergoing "corporate restructuring" due to some managerial decisions made while we were running this campaign.

Hehe

Translation: We did so many protests and filed so many charges that the company was forced to blame SOMEONE for their problems with our program.

Pierre Karl Peladeux, the CEO of QW, decided to fire his main negotiator, a man by the name of Hugh Gaylord. Hugh Gaylord was often known as simply "Gaylord" or "The Man Who Shows No Concern." Workers hated him because he consistently denied them such things as bathroom breaks, turkeys at Thanksgiving that management included in contractual negotiations, lunch breaks, pay raises that even are EQUAL to the cost of living, and my personal favorite, leave for pregnant mothers. He'd allow it if you wanted to grieve it but as far as he was concerned, unless you were making so much money off the Q1 gate you aren't getting shit at contract nego time. The bottom line wasn't just his focus, but his line in the sand.

Here enters our hero.

Gaylord was in Halifax, NS and we ended up running into each other. Literally. Gaylord dropped his pen, looked up and saw me, of all people, standing in front of him with my luggage in hand. He stammered for a second, and I said "Aren't you Hugh Gaylord?" His reply was a blustering, "Yeah." I extended my hand and he excused himself, refusing to even make eye contact.

He really should have shaken my hand, because if he had shown me that he was not as much of a dick as I had previously expected, I would certainly not have used his name in every anti-QW management chant at every action. I told Kohl's to call his personal office line if they ever had any questions about QW policies regarding employee overtime (think 130 hour work-weeks with scheduled mandatory overtime included as 60 percent of those hours...) and attendance policies. And as a personal fuck-you, I made sure that his archnemesis from a local union shop in TN was always at his bargaining sessions on time and well-fed. When Dave showed up, his skin was always rosy and he'd be ready to say, just for me, "Reece says hey and watch where you walk."

So from me to you, Gaylord, I hope your retirement is full of denied pension withdrawls, 401k buyouts and depletions, high-cost prescription drugs accompanied (or even caused) by crippling nerve disorders, urinary tract infections from drinking too much iodine-depleted water, and diabetes from too much fast food. I hope every single day that you spend retired is equivalent to a month's worth of suffering that you heap on the people that work in these communities. And I certainly hope that your personal life impoverishes you and allows the members of your family that actually wants to help the downtrodden and depressed to prosper, so you can watch and see what your life's work should REALLY be.

Happy retirement, fucko. May you cease to get an erection for your remaining years

Fear of a Wal-Mart Planet

I went into Wal-Mart yesterday because I had a question for the shift manager (who was of course named Dale):

"How many hours do you have to work here to be considered full-time?"

[Dale scurries back into the stockroom to grab another manager]

Manager: "Are you considering working for us."

[laughter] "No, no. I just want to know how many hours your people work for full-time status."

Manager: "We've got a great benefits program. You shouldn't laugh."

[more laughter] "Do I need to ask you again?"

[uncomfortable silence]

[icy stare from me]

"Okay, I take your silence to mean that you're just not going to tell me."

"Well, currently we consider fulltime to be 28 hours. But there's always a need for overtime."

ME: "..."

Manager: "Why are you asking this question in the first place if you don't need a job?"

ME: "That's only twelve thousand dollars a year on average employee salary."

Manager: "Yeah, well, only if you don't work overtime. Everybody works overtime"

ME: "But that's criminal, man! You can't support a family on that."

Manager: "You could always pull two shifts. Lots of people do that."

ME: "..."

After five minutes of staring into space in the parking lot, I left.If this is the future of business, I hope they make it legal for those living under the poverty line to kill and eat anyone who makes a salary above 150,000 a year.

I now have a deep fear of a Wal-Mart planet.