Deafened

I spent pretty much the whole day in a haze. Everyone at work is giving me the "Someone is changing..." look. My boss actually asked me, "But how are you doing? Have you taken some time for self-inspection? You are a very different man than the one that I interviewed a few years ago."

What about me has changed?

I think I met one of my five great ones.

If you've seen A Bronx Tale, you know exactly what I mean by that.

I've avoided a lot of personal talk on my own journal. For whatever reason, I've become somewhat nervous about it. I have to ask myself before I type this, "Why is this piece of you so guarded and hidden from everyone? Why can't you ever share how you're feeling with your friends and family?"

I don't know.

But what I do know is that I comically stumbled through my workday. I laughed maniacally as I sent out the wrong flyer to the wrong person at the wrong time for Publications. I then got a humorous email exchange back from upstairs, when in reality they should be telling me to go fuck myself.

I drove all the way to a work location to realize I hadn't called the guy I needed to see today early enough. He has now since switched shifts and probably won't even see me at least until the weekend.

I can't write this entry without laughing hysterically.

I feel great... so why am I fucking things up?