Obama

Bloody yet? Internally wounded? Maybe you're just all PTSD from six long years of the Bush White House, brain damaged from the lies and the abuse. It's okay, dude, take a seat... pop that Xanax... we're all sitting next to you taking our drug of choice (I prefer Hennessy my damn self.)

Don't you want revenge? Don't you want a smidgen of hardcore getback, James Brown soundtrack and all?

So don't elect Hilary or John Edwards. Nah, that's precisely what some of the GOP actually wants, not even including those that desire an easy target. I'm actually talking about people who are just waiting to see if we can once again make the top seat colorless. Those two? They think Saul Alinsky is outdated. They'd prefer meetings, greetings, and martinis as opposed to change because they need it. They've gotta have that extra campaign money because they want to keep being rich and lovely. It's expensive being this good-natured and helpful!

Don't you want some getback, Chocolate City and surrounding areas? For years, these dudes move into town, drop their kids into private schools, and get to work at doing absolutely nothing. They desperately need the same old swampy Washington that L'Enfant cursed when they screwed him on the bill for all his hard work... now that's some Washingtonian shit, right there... District of Crime, baby! They're still doing it, still nailing all of us (MD, VA.. screw the lines, we're all in this shit together) with debt increasing legislation, redlining, overconsumption. Especially you folks down in the bowels of the shitstream... damn, I can't even drive downtown without worrying the bottom of my car won't fall into the canyons/potholes in the road. I think they've gone back to walking and horseback in SE. Why not? Unless you've got a bullwhip and you're looking for the Grail, the roads and their condition don't make a lick of sense.

Middle America, haven't you had enough yet? East Coast? The West Coast? You're not ready to take a cue from Anthony Anderson and just burn this fucker down? Yeah, I know... too radical... well, okay. Voting doesn't seem to do a whole hell of a lot other than keep us thinking we're "fighting the good fight the good way," but all right... there's something simple you can do to get that righteous feeling of revenge and it involves that pasttime that makes you feel safe! Isn't that wonderful?

Elect Barack Obama POTUS. I'm serious... yes, I know he's black, and that's precisely the point.

Okay, black guy to general population, I know we're not ready for a black president. Hell, I know I'm scared to see what will happen when he's made the serious candidate and he has to appoint a VP. But fuck it. Fuck fear, fuck racism, fuck everything. Man, I'm all about revenge right now.

Don't you want to see Cheney lose his damn mind? Don't you want to watch the GOP AND Dems struggle to comprehend this intelligent black dude and his impossibly sensible behavior now that we've had a certifiable mental defective for two terms? Don't you want to watch Bush give him a tour of the White House and show him around? Aren't you anxious for the first bills he passes that get resoundly denied by Congress, just so you can hear some brilliant shit come out of his mouth?

Now, don't get me wrong: If Hilary was making sense and being brave, I'd be backing her for basically the same reasons (a woman in the White House? In CHARGE? Cheney would tear out his Kryptonite heart and crumble to dust!)

That's the president that I want. I want the guy that literally causes Republicans to commit suicide over his blackness and familial pride. I want someone who at the mere mention of his name causes people to lose their mind and start talking nonsense about experience (yeah, experience has been such a blessing so far... career politicians are excellent!) I want a president who actually says shit that means something other than "vote for me" only because him doing shit like that will make other people who lie for a living really fucking unhappy.

Other people apologize for feelings like this. I think I've had too much Lithium and Prozac, because I really don't give a fuck about other people and their feelings about this right now. I'm too tired for working for a cause that is maligned, too bruised from years of fighting against a giant winged machine, too sick from watching a system that professes to care about me and my needs turn around and shit out people who think that education and health care is a privilege, and just too fucking angry to do anything other than organize for the rest of my life. So you're not gonna riot. You're not gonna break some shit to build some shit? Then at least participate and make it known that you care a LITTLE.

So I hear sit, next you on the bench, just as drugged and beaten to all get out. What are we gonna do? Take more Xanax? Maybe some Hennessy? I've got plenty...