Raiding (From LJ)

Here's the problem that I see with raiding.

I'm sitting in a bar with my girfriend. She buys me a drink, tells me to cheer up. I'm totally bummed out, moaning and complaining. She's trying her damndest now, really giving me a reason to believe that if I just snap out of it, we can turn things around. She's always been a giving, considerate, woman and she's proving it right there. But I just can't see it, for whatever reason, and I just don't pay attention to what she has to say. She starts to feel hurt now and tears up a little. Before she can full-on cry, I head for the bathroom shouting "Now the waterworks start."

Now you've been sitting at the bar too, drinking and watching this ordeal. I obviously appear ridiculous, but the girlfriend seems worth her salt and in need of some bolstering. You talk and after a few minutes, you begin to find yourself attracted to my girlfriend. You tell yourself that it's okay, too, because the attraction is mutual and I'm a big jerk who doesn't listen. You invite her to leave with you, and as you get up and pay for your drinks, I walk over. I point to your girlfriend, who's currently crying in the corner...

Here's where paths diverge:

In the movement, we seem to think that we know best all the time. As a collective, we can agree on a course of action that can best help all of us, but we hate to even think that singularly we might just be stupid. The truth is, regardless of how awesome you think your organizing model is, or how sweet of a rap you think you've got, or how much money your organizing department has, Members Run Their Union and it is their job to make changes by being an informed body.
Members are often kept out of the loop by an exaggerated process and convoluted rules and regs. If we wanted them to feel good about their participation and fight hard for their contracts, we'd involve them in a real way and sincerely support them when times got hard.

The sad truth is that none of that happens. Usually once they are members they are dutifully ignored until we need volunteer ridealong partners for housecalls or until contract time rolls around and we send out the fleet of reps. We don't talk to them unless we think we need them, and that's just foolish. I've seen it in the internationals I've worked for and it never makes for a good situation.

Getting back to the analogy, you're not paying attention to your own partner. It's fine to make friends, but you're obviously not doing that. What you are doing is looking for a way to increase your own happiness with the caveat that you're doing something good for something else so it must make it okay to cheat on your girlfriend. I might be a jerk sometimes, but I'm her jerk...sometimes. You weren't there when I was there for her birthdays and weddings and funerals. You haven't been on our dates or read our love letters. You haven't been there long at all, and really couldn't hear so good from your barstool anyway. So what makes you think you could even do better? You don't even know her yet. You don't know how demanding a relationship can be on both sides in our case. I work all the time away from home and she needs more support. But she also needs me to go out and get that money so we can both eat. While it's not romantic, it's the truth. And the truth builds relationships, not drinks at a bar with some guy with a good shirt on and some hair product. Because tomorrow, you'll look just as grimey as me, you'll just be a different dude. And you'll go to work too, because you can't eat off love, as hard as we try to.